Three weeks and counting...

Well here I am again, three weeks or so later after having been laid off as of September 28. Still struggling down the unemployment path but somehow hopeful that God is leading me the way. There is absolutely nothing much to do right now, I am at a loss as to what to do --I have been working 9-hour weekdays for the last three years and to not be doing anything at this point is a tremendous change of environment. Not that I do not appreciate all the free time I have right now but it is a challenge -- in the sense that it is a struggle to fight the self-pity that is just waiting to burst at the seams. Thank God for friends who call constantly to check and see if I'm still sane. I know there is a way out and that there always is an answer to all questions in time. For now, I'm just taking it one day at a time.

The verdict is out

My visa petition has been denied for the nth time. I have a boyfriend (or so I think) who has been offering to marry me (for a fee) for the longest time, but whenever I am at a major crossroads, suddenly experiences a sudden loss of memory. Where I will be in the next few weeks or months from now, and what my status will be then I cannot tell just now. Whatever it is I just hope and pray I will be strong enough to take on the strongest winds. My biggest struggle is just starting.

3 Years and Counting

Life seems to just be swinging by right before my eyes. Everybody seems to be quite happy with the way their lives are going except me. You could just imagine how depressed I am everytime I check my social network account and find out that the world is merrily going along while here I am, stuck, in a rut, lonesome, cannot drive, cannot go places.

Sometimes I just laugh at it and say,what the heck. But some days I feel like being sucked into a quagmire which does not seem to have an end in sight. A long, dark, empty tunnel without a light to guide me through.

Don't get me wrong. My faith is strong. I just wish that sometimes I have that someone who's got my back (though that can be scary --the last person to have said that is on the brink of divorce as of press time). Days go by and all I can think about are a series of maybes--maybe I ought to have completed the events and things and occurrences in my life that either I have aborted or abandoned altogether. Maybes that lead to thoughts of whether I would have been a good mother, or a good lawyer, or whether I would have ever gotten myself up the bureaucratic ladder.

I know the answers will come. If only He gives me a sign that everything that is happening is all part of His plan, His Greater Scheme of things. Maybe it is. Or at least make my heart be quiet.

Sicko

Super sick--haven't been like this in a long time.

Workout bleh

I have been working out daily for the last 2 months and stopped abruptly this week.
I'm feeling crappy.

Who Dat, Who Dat?

I am not so much a fan of Pro-football, but I am just in awe of how energized the New Orleans Saints fans are now that their team has made it to their first ever Superbowl game against the Indianapolis Colts. Even with someone as huge as Peyton Manning on the other side of the offensive line, I have so much faith that they will make it through, all in the hopes of bringing life back to their city, post-Katrina. So what if Manning has one MVP trophy tied to his belt, the Saints' got Drew Brees doing a good job. If they win, hell will surely freeze over, and all New Orleanians will have one hell of a Mardi Gras parade this year, plus one lucky girl winning $20 (wink, wink!) come Monday!

Resolutions

New year, new hair. Before the year ended I finally was able to resolve the conflict between me and my long hair- I snipped it short, and short it is now (sort of page-boyish cut), with a touch up of color, courtesy of Maria from Tammy's. And have I gotten more than enough compliments!

However my consistent weight gain has been the bane of my existence as of late, hence I have been trying to get my lazy legs on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes a day -- no immediate effects visible, but I can feel more energy everyday . Tired as I am every time I get home from work late at night, I still force myself to get on the mill and do an alternate brisk walking/running every 5 minutes. On the first day I have tried it, I have been waking up with more energy and not as sluggish as I used to be.

Just a few hours ago I was watching Julie and Julia the movie -- that gave me an idea -- to blog about the things that come to mind every night as I run the mill, no matter how sundry. The challenge, though, has to do more with me being consistent with blogging than on the treadmill. I know I can do the 30 minute workout everyday, but I have always miserably failed with keeping up with my bog entries, given that I have this recurring addiction to Cafe World (a facebook game, for all of you facebook gentiles). But then we'll see, and take it one day at a time.