Paranoia

Definition

Paranoia is an unfounded or exaggerated distrust of others, sometimes reaching delusional proportions. Paranoid individuals constantly suspect the motives of those around them, and believe that certain individuals, or people in general, are "out to get them." (www.answers.com)

In a nutshell, this describes the feeling I have towards my boyfriend at the moment. Two days have passed since I have last heard from him. In times bygone, whenever he gets quiet for days, something always happens in his family --emergency, sickness, even death. I can't take it when he gets so quiet all of a sudden since we have had a history where he dismissed me outright without giving much of an explanation other than a brief message on one of my social utility pages.

I keep praying and crossing my fingers that he has not changed his mind, that he is okay and just went somewhere, that he would still communicate with me...

As the economy gets worse, more and more peope are out on the streets

As I traverse the stretch of Santa Monica boulevard on my way to work everyday, I see more and more people pushing shopping carts on the street. Just across where I work is a Lutheran church where a homeless guy sleeps upon its steps. And a black man in dreadlocks who walks around with a guitar case in his back. I can't help but think that people back home are luckier since, on top of favorable weather, we look out for each other. We just run to the neighbor's whenever we run out of something and we need it for the interim. The Philippines maybe a poverty-stricken country but I would like to believe that we churn out more college graduates per capita than the United States does. In a time such as this I am reminded of how lucky we Filipinos are for being resilient and for having weathered out situations worse that what the United States is experiencing. Like what our elders would always say, once you hit rock bottom, there's really no other way to go than up.

stumbling across exes in facebook

How does it feel? Relieved. Closure has finally come.

The Turandot Project

I have always been fascinated by the Opera. Recently I rented a video from Netflix on the making of Puccini's Turandot and its subsequent staging in Beijing. Turandot, for the uninformed, is a legendary story of a Chinese princess who posed a dare to whoever wanted her hand in marriage - answer three riddles, or die. Most probably people would recognize the famous song "Nessun Dorma" as popularized by the late great Pavarotti, more than they would the opera.

The documentary features the collaboration between renowned conductor Zubin Mehta and Zhang Yimou, and one can really see how much attention they pay to the details -- from blocking, emphasis on the songs, and the intricacy of the costumes they wear. Mehta emphasized on the Beijing performance as very critical, costume-wise, as most Asian performances/celebrations are always celebrated colorfully--you never see an Asian celebration with people dressed in black/white or grey.

I am a beginner in operatic appreciation, and with this documentary it has opened my eyes to a totally different mode of entertainment -- one that is raw, poetic, and in tune with a world that has long since gone.